The Shoulds and Woulds

So this is my first blog well...since the days when I was a frustrated late teenager who had moved into the vast and intimidating world of college with girl troubles and drama. At that time I really felt it was necessary for the world to know how much I "hurt," and how terrible my life was as a 19 year old because everyone knows those are the most important years of our lives right? haha. My medium WAS myspace...lame i know...now im so so mature and I think I will use this instead. Hopefully this will be more intelligent and maybe contribute positvely to society...

Anyways, to get to the point. I was talking with one of my friends tonight about the furture, a scary and intriguing subject for a couple of 23-year-old kids. We went back and forth and she was telling me about how she decided to go to grad school next year in New Mexico because she felt it was something that she needed to do, or SHOULD do. She said that she needed to be fiscally responsible and that going to school in New Mexico would not be out-of-state tuition for her grad school and how much that made sense to do.

The Grant of a few years ago, before he was transformed into at least part hippie here in Bellingham, would have agreed and said that it was important for her to get her education so she could be successful in life. But the Grant who sits here now typing and talked early on the phone just doesnt agree.

We spend our lives trying to develope the person that we want to be as an "adult" but really when do we become adults? There are a plethera of answers to this and really just depends on the person defining it. All I can tell you from my perspective is that at 23 years old, I am working on becoming an adult but fighting it equally as hard. I think there will become a point when each person has a family to support and responsibilites beyond their own well being and shelter, but for now the truth is that we are free. I understand loans and responsibilites such as this all to well, but I say fight. Fight against those restraints to experience. We will have plenty of the rest of our lives to act on the voice that says we "should" do this or that and ignore the little voice saying, "if you could do anything, what WOULD you do?" I say this because ideally, and I guess not every single person can just do what they want at our age, but I think for majorities sake I will not direct my attention to this minority exception,....ideally we can do, go, love, be, say, experince....what, where, who, how, whatever, everything...we want. Knowing when you see the shoulds in a valuble thing because their regonition is a key part to maturity and in no way am I saying that taking the should is not often the best path, but for the sake of sanity and well for the matter insanity examine the woulds.

Whats left when you boil down this whole blog is that when I turn 30 years old I want to be able to look back and remember the experiences I had and would give up the diplomas on my wall, my 401k (mine never seems to build up anyway..lol), any of my accomplishments to have the love of good friends and memories of a life spent living rather than a life spent planning and stressing over accomplishments and gaining recognition. Thats all. Also this is an open invitation to my friends to keep builind those experiences...call me and lets go have coffee or if you really want an experience, lets see if we can get into some trouble.. :)